When Toilets Attack

Disney Bidet

May 26th, 2008

Made it to Disney World! We start our 8 day stint at one of the number one vacation spots known to man. To get ready for this trip we upgraded our camping equipment by taking advantage of a sale at Bass Pro Shop – we got a 10′x10′ Coleman tent for just 89 bucks. Much better than my other tent – I can stand up in this one.

This is the first time we have ever stayed at Disney’s campground, Fort Wilderness. So far we are very impressed. Our campsite is on a small creek that winds through the campground. Tame wildlife wonders through occasionally like rabbits, ducks and even saw a few deer this morning! Our site is only a couple of hundred yards (meters for you non-Americans ) to the swimming pool and camp store. There is also some of the cleanest bathrooms I have seen outside of my own house. In fine Disney fashion it appears as if all the aesthetics and details are in place and complimentary. Except one tiny over sight…

When we camp we like to keep the food situation simple, simple not always being the best thing. We tend to eat lots of hot dogs and beans, they are nutritious and healthy (well, we eat Hebrew National hot dogs – if it’s kosher it has to be good, right?). Anyway, the increase of bean intake has the potential of making every event similar to the campfire scene in “Blazing Saddles”. To relieve some of the pressure brought on by the beans I made my way to the pristine accommodations designed for this type of purging.

Before sitting on the porcelain throne, as I would do at any public facility, I inspect the seat and wipe it down with the paper available – this throne was clean, so clean it almost glowed. I sat down and then the excitement started…

Disney is known for it’s innovation, it’s high tech. The toilets are no different. Each toilet has an Infrared sensor which is able to identify when you stand up triggering the unit to flush – well, that’s how they are supposed to work.

As i said, I sat down and started my business. I turned my head to look at the stall wall, sometimes in public facilities there can be some pretty entertaining quips and fancy poems scribed for every ones enjoyment, and the toilet flushed – it startled me when the loud noise of the pressure being released and the water droplets acting like they were in a bidet making me turn further to look at the infrared unit causing it to immediately flush again. It seemed every time I took a breath the dang thing would flush! This was like an old E-Ticket ride, it was like the toilet was trying to buck me off (a reference to riding a horse – keep your mind clean, this is Disney after all!). By the time I had finished I was laughing out loud.

A few hours later it was time to return to the bathroom, this time to take a shower – this time to wash my entire body. The shower itself is large and private, the water pressure was strong and the water was hot. About 2-3 minutes into my shower I heard the toilet flush, the pressure of my shower dropped slightly and the water got just a tad hotter. The toilet flushed again, then again. Each time the toilet flushed the water got just a little hotter and the pressure a little less. It flushed again and again! I started to again laugh out-loud – I then heard an older gentleman start to yell at the toilet using a few choice non-Disney type words – I was crying from laughing so hard, at this point it made the entire vacation worth every cent we paid.