November 21st, 2007
How to fry a turkey and not burn down your house.
- Buy 15 pound turkey
- Large pot
- Propane burner
- Peanut or vegetable oil
- Metal coat hanger
- Matches or lighter or flint&steel or magnifying glass on a bright sunny day.
Put turkey into empty pot then fill with water until turkey is completely immersed. Remove turkey and mark the inside of the pot where the water line is. Empty the pot.
Fill pot with oil of choice to the line drawn inside the pot when you had the water in it. Recommend one of the oils listed above – motor oil may cook the bird but the taste will seem “off”.
Place the propane burner on solid ground at least 500 yards from your house (any house), preferably on pavement with a water resource close at hand, place pot with oil on the burner.
Using one of the tools listed above – lite the burner.
Heat oil until it reaches 400 degrees.
Bend your coat hanger in such a way that when you place it inside the bird it will allow you to securely pick up the bird and place it in the hot oil. Hopefully you can visualize this one your own – DO NOT place your hands in the oil and attempt to remove the bird UNLESS you already have a prosthetic arm as a result of last Thanksgiving.
Now that the oil (peanut or other vegetable oil – NOT MOTOR OIL) has reached 400 degrees place your 15 pound bird into the pot (USING THE HANGER) and let cook for 3 minutes a pound PLUS 5 minutes. To save you the headache, that is 50 minutes.
If you somehow still burn down your house or injure or kill yourself or anyone else after following these directions I nor anyone else can be held responsible.
I recommend sharing this information with as many people as you know, the house you save may be your own.
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