E-Mail Spam

Thank God for Spam

July 31st, 2007

Today, as I do just about everyday, I opened my Outlook to check my e-mail. I am starting to believe all of life’s problems have a solution and those solutions are presented just by hitting the good ol’ send/receive button.

Thank you Brady, Lara, Delmer, Elmo, Alyson, Maryann, Noreen, Jody and Winnie for sending me the opportunity to purchase Adobe Suite 3 at such a reasonable price! Thank you Nan, Joe, Dennis, Bethanie and the countless others who think I should be wearing a Swiss watch, your online selection of replica Rolex can only compare to the street vendors in New York City. Thank you Ebay, without you I would not know of the 1000’s of responses I have to the 1000’s of products I didn’t have for sale. Thank you Cayden, Roberto, Andrew, Landon, Isaac, Garrett, Lucas and Luis for notifying me about the nearly 1 billion dollars I have won in the various lotteries I never bought a ticket for. Thank you Margaret, Evia, Dann, Britta, Brittanie, Laurie, Adelina, Malissa, Aisha, Nichole, Ryann and Jules for pointing out the bulge in my pants could use a recent breakthrough in herbal science to see a growth of 3 inches in 6 months and thank you Jan, Giedrious, Lola, Pam, Simon, Maurer, and Mandy for presenting me with a chance of increasing the sheer volume of liquid I’ll need when I have a bigger hose. Thank you to the countless others who think I am fat, approved me for a loan, told me the stock to buy so I can retire, sent me a greeting card, want me to see them naked and those who think I’m pretty.

Oh, and thanks Mom for the picture of the big fish you caught - love you too!

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